Starting and Raising a Mixed Race Family
Starting a family requires a lot of thinking, planning and trust in a relationship. It is after all a major life event and change. However, when you are in a mixed race dating family relationship, they are other factors to take into account.
1. Baby’s name
Finding a name for baby may seem superficial or not important at first but deciding and agreeing on a name is going to take time, effort and compromises from both parties. And why is that?
First of all, it is hard for all couples. Your partner may have a name planned out since girlhood, or your partner’s style may be different than yours. Most of the time though, we tend to associate names with people we’ve known over the years. “I really like Victoria for a name, what do you think? Oh no, I used to know a Victoria and she was so mean.” See what I mean?
Additionally, you may want to choose a name that works for both of you as a couple and hopefully, a name that will work everywhere your child goes, and this could be a bit of a challenge.
Finding a name for baby may seem superficial or not important at first but deciding and agreeing on a name is going to take time, effort and compromises from both parties. And why is that?
2. Language
When baby arrives, you will naturally want to speak in your mother tongue with your child. Your language is an important part of your identity, therefore it is essential to discuss this topic with your partner before baby arrives or very shortly after. Will you be speaking both languages or sticking to your own? Where will your child be going to school? It is not an urgent matter but time flies when you are having fun.
3. Culture & customs
Does your partner eat meat? Do you celebrate Christmas? Or perhaps you have a different New Year’s date? You need to discuss with your partner what is going to be acceptable to you and what compromise you can make to make this work. Here again talking beforehand about these hot topics will be very helpful and may help diffuse any resentment or misunderstandings in the future.
4. Education
Education is a very personal topic and I think for most expectant parents, it is something that definitely need to be addressed. Most people raise their children like they were raised or the contrary but they are always influenced by their childhood in one way or another. If your partner grew up bedsharing with her parents, she might not be able to understand your desire to have your child in a crib in his own room at night. This goes with along with discipline, extracurricular activities, health etc.
5. Family
How much involvement should grandparents and relatives have with your child? Does your family visit you often? Do they even call at all or do they like to pay you surprise visits?
See what there is to remember about starting and raising a family together has a mixed race dating family or couple is that communication is key. If you decide to raise a family together, take the time to talk about what's important to you and why, what you can compromise on or not and it will make a huge difference in how things will be handled in the future in regards to your child’s upbringing.
